A Mother Knows She Has Boys When...
By Paula Schmitt, The All Sports Mom

As a mom there is life B.B. (before boys) and then there is life A.B. (after boys). I question any mother’s sanity should she decide to continue onward for that junior basketball team of five. I know all too well what it is like to raise boys. I have four and quickly stopped there as I pondered the consequences of my future. Not a pretty picture.

A mother knows she has boys when...

The walls and accessories in each of the rooms of the house are shades of blue;

She gets a shower of gold upon every diaper change;

She finds that her home and the surrounding yard of said home are decorated with every sports ball imaginable;

She begins to imitate the sounds of toys to family and friends daily, i.e, toot-toot and vroom- vroom;

The television set only knows Bob the Builder and Thomas the Tank Engine;

Frogs and lizards become indoor pets, naturally;

The walls in the house have dirty handprints throughout (so artistic);

She enjoys the karate chop of her favorite action figure come playtime;

During holiday season shopping her cart is filled with Hot Wheels, G.I. Joes and Nerf balls;

Doing laundry she discovers pockets filled with rocks and dirt;

Everyday when her children come home from school and when asking them what was the highlight of their day they respond, GYM;

There is a constant stale odor lingering in the air (you know, farts are funny);

The permanent position of all toilet seats throughout the house is UP;

She can no longer see the blue paint of her children’s bedroom walls since sports posters have covered every square inch of wall space;

She grocery shops every week and the food magically disappears within a couple of days;

All her children’s clothing features the word NIKE;

She is off at a sports event 365 days of the year;

She’s on a first name basis with the staff at the emergency room;

The teenage girls are swarming the house like bees on honey;

She thanks God for those boys every night.

Paula Schmitt is a writer and mother of five children living in Vermont. Her columns and essays have appeared in several publications. Paula's non-fiction book, Living In A Locker Room: A Mom's Tale Of Survival In A Houseful Of Boys will be available May of 2005. Email her at paula@paulaschmitt.com or visit her at www.paulaschmitt.com

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A Mother Knows She Has Boys When... By Paula Schmitt, The All Sports Mom

A Mother Knows She Has Boys When...
By Paula Schmitt, The All Sports Mom