A Mother Knows She Has Boys When…
By Paula Schmitt, The All Sports Mom
As a mom there is life B.B. (before boys) and then there is life A.B. (after boys). I question any mother’s sanity should she decide to continue onward for that junior basketball team of five. I know all too well what it is like to raise boys. I have four and quickly stopped there as I pondered the consequences of my future. Not a pretty picture.
A mother knows she has boys when…
The walls and accessories in each of the rooms of the house are shades of blue;
She gets a shower of gold upon every diaper change;
She finds that her home and the surrounding yard of said home are decorated with every sports ball imaginable;
She begins to imitate the sounds of toys to family and friends daily, i.e, toot-toot and vroom- vroom;
The television set only knows Bob the Builder and Thomas the Tank Engine;
Frogs and lizards become indoor pets, naturally;
The walls in the house have dirty handprints throughout (so artistic);
She enjoys the karate chop of her favorite action figure come playtime;
During holiday season shopping her cart is filled with Hot Wheels, G.I. Joes and Nerf balls;
Doing laundry she discovers pockets filled with rocks and dirt;
Everyday when her children come home from school and when asking them what was the highlight of their day they respond, GYM;
There is a constant stale odor lingering in the air (you know, farts are funny);
The permanent position of all toilet seats throughout the house is UP;
She can no longer see the blue paint of her children’s bedroom walls since sports posters have covered every square inch of wall space;
She grocery shops every week and the food magically disappears within a couple of days;
All her children’s clothing features the word NIKE;
She is off at a sports event 365 days of the year;
She’s on a first name basis with the staff at the emergency room;
The teenage girls are swarming the house like bees on honey;
She thanks God for those boys every night.