No More Momma’s Boy

Written by Nicole Dean

©Lisa Barker

My sister and I share the same dilemma. Both of us have boys that are no longer Mommy’s Little Love Dumpling. Hers turned seven and mine turned five.

Hers has a crush now. He floats on air…while my sister and her broken heart bob in the surf and get smashed on the rocks. She’s no longer the only woman in his life.

Mine informs me, very loudly in the grocery store parking lot, “Momma, I don’t need to hold your hand now! I’m FIVE years old.”

Hers used to do all his schoolwork, very carefully and neatly. He started hiding his homework in his dresser drawer. If he can’t see it, and if no one else can, then it doesn’t exist and he doesn’t have to do it.

Mine used to ask to help me do things around the house. Now I ask him to tidy his room and all I hear is how it will take FOREVER. And it does because he has to bellyache about it all day long first.

Hers used to have an immaculate room. He took pride in putting his things away. Now it’s books, toys and underwear all over the floor.

Mine used to like getting his hair cut. Now he informs me that I stink as a barber and that he was much cuter with his hair long.

What happened? We doted on them, kissed their boo-boos, scared away the monsters, baked them cookies and now they don’t need us?

We read them stories, helped them find their lost cars, decorated their rooms in cute hotrod themes and ocean themes and now we can just serve them meals and a clean change of clothes, thank you very much.

I asked my son to pick up his toys in the living room. He said, “No, thank you.” This caught my attention because he was actually being polite.

“What do you mean, ‘No, thank you’?”

“I don’t want to pick up my toys.”

“Okay, then pick up the ones you want to keep.” This didn’t work. He just lounged on the sofa like the toy fairy would be making a new delivery sooner or later so why bother with these? And there were too many toys for me to bother scooping them up and placing them in storage.

“Son, you need to pick up these toys NOW.”

“How many times do I have to tell you? I don’t want–”

“Pick up the toys or stand in the corner.”

“I said, I don’t–”

“Corner.”

He stomped to the corner. “You’re not the boss of me anymore!”

Yeah, this was Mommy’s Little Love Dumpling not too long ago. Breaks my heart. I think I’ll call my sister and commiserate.
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Jelly Mom™ is written by Lisa Barker, author of “Just Because Your Kids Drive You Insane…Doesn’t Mean You Are A Bad Parent!” and syndicated through Martin-Ola Press/Parent To Parent. To publish Jelly Mom, buy the book or leave comments, please visit www.jellymom.com.

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One Response to “No More Momma’s Boy”

Glenys says:
January 22nd, 2009 5:16 pm

I have 2 boys 4 and 2 years and I can so see this all coming ahead of us. My 4 year old snuggler is already giving me grief with the “I don’t want to’s”. I’m pretty harsh and quick to the wheely bin with items that are refused to be picked up. Lots of tears later and agreements are struck.

At least they both still enjoy unloading the dishwasher.